Kyle and I were driving back to Norman from Kansas City after shooting the Big XII tournament. Somewhere between Wichita and the Oklahoma border, we stopped at the McDonald's that you're forced to stop at unless you want to get off the turnpike. Something happened that made me a little concerned about today's youth... A boy, probably around ten, walked up to fill his drink at the soda fountain as I stood behind him waiting. He deliberated over which one he desired most. Sprite. He filled it with great caution, stopping intermittently to measure the precise amount. When his cup is half full of Sprite, he is content with the amount. Maybe he just wanted a couple more sips before he had to get back in the car for the rest of his drive. Wait. He's pensive, almost frozen in thought. A splash of Coke. What is going on? Again pensive. Strawberry. Have you no shame?! He turns and walks away as if he has solved his puzzle and had no other business to complete. Wrong! Orange, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer – all utterly critical elements of a proper suicide. Sprite, Coke, and Strawberry? What is that? That is weak. That is disgusting. This should be inherent knowledge for a ten year old boy. I pray for our youth.
3.20.2008
Kids these days…
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I agree. Sprite, Coke, and Strawberry is an improper suicide. However, combining Orange or Mountain Due with said strawberry would also seem counter-intuitive. I think you have to choose between one or the other of the un-soda's. I think a suicide should be either sprite based with multiple fruit flavorings, or coke based, with primarily dark sodas and only one fruit flavoring. Perhaps that's boring, but I don't like any of this anarchic / nihilistic, anything goes crap.
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